YohohoandabottleoDew
by Cam Cap'n Crow's 1st mate
Summary: Cam15is marching in a parade and a fatal accident sends him to the One Piece world.Ia,Zac,Skie,Chey and some other people will appear in it.
1. Chapter 1

YohohoandabottleoDew  
Chapter 1: Panic at the parade!

8:00 am Saturday 14th, Pioneer Days.

"Bugga bugga bugga." Cam(15) said as he paced his room in his navy blue dress pants and white button up shirt."Am I forgetting anything? OI! Half-heart necklace." Cam said and grabbed it from his dresser and put it on."Half-heart necklace, check, pocket watch." Cam grabbed his gold pocket watch."Check. Wallet, Check." Cam was getting ready for the parade he had to march in for he is in the NHS marching "miner" band. As is his girlfriend Ia(15) and best friend Zac(15)."Why are you awake at 8:00 in the morning? The parade isn't until 10:30. I know I'm just nervous. Well you better bloody well stop being nervous or I'll kick you in the kidneys until they either explode out of your back, or they come out the next time ya pee." Cam was having an inner war with himself for what seemed like forever until he heard a knock at the door. He jumped and quickly walked towards the door and opened it. At the door was his mum.

"Oh, You're already up?" She asked

"Yes mum." Cam replied

"Get... oh you're ready?"

"Yes mum."

"It's almost time to go." Cam reached into his pocket and pulled out his watch. He opened it and saw that it was 9:50. He snapped it closed and grabbed his trumpet case.

"I'll be out in the car." he said and left for the door.

B-L-A-H

Cam showed up outside the middle school. He looked up to the band room window and sighed. He grabbed his trumpet case and slammed the car door. He walked in and climbed the almost neverending staircase that he didn't miss at all. He reached the top and was greeted by a familiar voice.

"'Bout time you showed up." Cam turned to see Zac standing in the corner next to the band room.

"Tsk. 'Least I showed up." Cam said as he walked in and set his trumpet case down next to the drum rack.

"Mr.Pirhonen. You need your golden accent."Cam turned to see Mr. A

"Oh right. Cam walked over to the table and grabbed a golden ribbon.

"Umm that's for the girls." Mr. A said

"Oh..." Cam said and put it back

"Try the box next to it."

"Gotcha." Cam said with a laugh and grabbed an index card with a triangular gold cloth on the top. He put it in his front shirt pocket and walked back towards Zac who was laughing his ass off."Shut up." Cam and Zac then continued to chat about their summer. What's going to happen. What's happened already. Where they went, what they've seen. Then Cam saw his dearly beloved Ia out of the corner of his eye."Hey Ia Swan!" Cam said interrupting Zac's Boba Fett robot chicken impression. She got up to the top of the stairs when Cam noticed she was wet and shivering. Without saying anything Cam walked over and hugged her hoping to make her warm yet again.

"Alright, it's crunch time. Let's get ready shall we?" Mr. A said to the three.

"Yes sir." they said and walked in the band room.

O-U-T-S-I-D-E

Cam stood outside in the cold weather next to senior Nick Benaglio. He could see Zac standing two rows in front of him. Ia was god knows where behind Cam.

"Alright. We're up." Mr. A said when their turn came."And...go." he said and the drum line began the cadence.

B-L-A-C-K-P-A-R-A-D-E

By the time Cam got close to the middle school he couldn't play anymore. Then a big gust of wind blew through the street and knocked over a light pole by the methodist church and fell in Cam's direction.

"CAM LOOK OUT!!" Ia yelled. Cam turned. The light pole missed him by a fraction of an inch.

"Whoa!!" Cam yelled seeing the downed light pole a fraction of an inch away from him."That was close." Cam said. Then a random drunk guy ran up and hit him in the head with a golf club. He fell and the last image he saw before blacking out was that of the random drunk guy being beat up by some cops.

* * *

Yes. I started over. It was crappy and I'm gonna see what I can do with this one. 


	2. Meet the strawhats

Chapter 2: Meet the strawhats

"What..the...hell? Where am I? Something's poking me." Cam thought. He looked to see what was poking him, but could only see black.

"Wake up." a voice said

"Hm? Who said that?"

"WAKE UP!" Cam woke up to see a beautiful girl with blue hair hovering over him.

"Wow. She's hot." Cam thought

"Who're you?" she asked

"I'm...Cam" he said

"I'm Vivi. Nice to meet you." She said.

"Likewise. Umm where exactly am I?"

"You are on the deck of the going merry."

"Say again?"

"You're on the deck of the Going Merry."

"The devil's a going merry?"

"It's a ship." Cam sat up to see open water.

"OI! The Parade! IA SWAN! THE DRUNK GUY!!"

"What?"

"Well first off I was marching in a parade, then a drunk guy came up and wanged me in the head with what felt like a five iron." Vivi gave him a look of "what the hell are you talking about?" "(sigh) Nevermind."

"Who is Ia Swan?"

"My girlfriend."

"Is she cute?"

"Well when I tickle her she giggles and makes a cute face that I like." Cam said with a smile.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes Deeply." Cam said as his stomach growled fairly loudly like a grizzly bear showed up on deck and was gonna bite his head off.

"(giggle) Are you hungry?"

"Well me stomach **did **sound like a grizzly bear wanting to bite me head off." Vivi laughed.

"Come on down to the kitchen, Sanji'll cook ya something."

"Who's Sanji?"

"Our chef."

"Allright, sounds good." Cam got up and followed her to the kitchen.

K-I-T-C-H-E-N

"Sanji?" Vivi said

"Yes my sweet?" Sanji replied

"Could you cook up something for our new friend here?"

"New friend?" Sanji said and saw Cam sitting down at the table next to Luffy and everyone else."Oi,Who are you?"

"My name's Cam. Nice ta meetcha."

"Likewise." Sanji said and started cooking.

"So uh who're you guys?" Cam asked

"Luffy."

"Nami."

"Usopp."

"Zoro."

"Chopper."

"Holy Crap! A talking reindeer!" Cam yelled

"Yes. I am a talking reindeer. Got a problem with it?"

"No no, It's just in my world, reindeer don't talk."

"Oh."

"Ya know what? Nevermind. I'll eat tomorrow. If I'm still here." Cam said suddenly. Sanji sighed with annoyance.

"You need a place to sleep?" Luffy asked

"Y'know I just might."

"You want the couch in our room?"

"Sure. Thanks."

"We **should** reach land by tomorrow."

"Gotcha." Cam said and walked to the guys' room and plopped on the couch."Ia Swan." he said looking at his half-heart necklace.

* * *

There we go. Ia shall arrive in a chapter or two. 


	3. Headache

Chapter 3:Headache

Sunday, 10:00 am, sunny. The strawhats docked at some town for supplies n junk. Cam took this time to find a change of clothes and a weapon or two. He walked down the gangplank with his hands in his pockets.

"Okay let's find something for Cammy." he said to himself as he walked down the semi-busy street. He then spotted a tailor's shop and went inside.

"Can I help you find anything?" the tailor asked

"No. I think I know what I want." he said"Wow. This might take a while." Cam said to himself surrounded by mountains of clothes.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Perfect." Cam said as he finished getting dressed. He had changed into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt."How much?"he asked the tailor.

"30 berries." he replied

"Okay then." Cam reached into the pocket of his navy blue pants and pulled out a fairly large wad of cash."Show me 30 berries." he said and handed the tailor said amount of money."Pleasure doin' buisness with ya." he said and left.

W-E-A-P-O-N

Cam was walking down the semi-busy street when he saw a weapon shop coming up on his left. He walked in and saw a very large room full of swords,guns and other weapon like items. Cam stood there marveling when the shop clerk broke the silence.

"Hi there. Can I help you with somethin'?"the clerk asked

"Yeah, Hi. I'm looking for a sword."Cam replied

"You came to the right place. Come on, I'll show ya what we have in stock." He led Cam to a big wall of cutlasses, katanas, wakisashis, and rapiers. Cam was staring wide eyed at the wall of weapons."As you can see, we have a wide variety of swords."

"Uh huh." Cam said as if he were in a trance.

"Take your pick."

"That one!" Cam said immediately pointing at the black handled katana 12 rows from the floor.

"Nice choice. That's one of our fine-grade swords. 500." he said as he got it down.

"I'll take it. Oh, and can I get a pistol too?"

"A pistol with a katana?"

"Hey, I'm a paying customer, what do you care?"

"I see your point. Come with me." he said and led him to a wall of firearms."Flintlocks, caplocks, matchlocks, you name it we got it."

"Gotcha. Umm, I might need a minute."

"Okay. Take your time." he said and left.

2-H-O-U-R-S-L-A-T-E-R

"For god's sake, what's takin' so long?" the clerk thought and turned to see Cam, unconcious, buried in a pile of guns."How'd this happen?!" He yelled as he ran over and started digging Cam out of his wooden metallic grave. He finished and woke Cam up."So tell me, how did that happen?"

"Well, I found the one I want,here it is." Cam said and handed it to the clerk."I started climbing to get it, I slipped and everything else came down on me. But I did get it."

"Okay total with the sword that's 800 berries." the clerk said as he helped him up.

"Gotcha." Cam said and reached into his pocket and pulled out the large wad of money, paid him and left.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Cam got back to the ship, went into the guys' room and sat on his couch.

"Okay, let's take a look." Cam said putting his feet on the coffee table. He un-sheathed his sword and ran his eyes up and down the blade."Nice." He said, sheathed it and set it aside. He took out his pistol.(It's a flintlock. Forgot to tell ya.)"Nice." he said and dry fired it."Very nice. I think I'll name you. Ia, that'll be your name, since I miss her so much. You shall go in the front. Just don't blow me man parts off, ya got that?" Cam said and grabbed his sword."I think I'll name you too. Vivi? Yeah, Vivi. You shall go on the left hip. Just don't kill Ia, or vice versa." he then layed back and shut his eyes."Ia? Vivi? Ia? Vivi? Ia. Vivi. Oi." Cam thought. He then heard a thump from the trapdoor leading out of the guys' room. He sat up, drew his pistol and pointed it in the direction of the sound. Vivi then started climbing down. She saw Cam and stopped. He opened his eyes and saw Vivi."Oh Crap!! I'm sorry Vivi." Cam said and quickly lowered it.

"It's okay." She said and smiled. She then walked over and started kissing him.

E-N-D

* * *

Wow. I'm surprised Ia(pistol Ia) didn't kill Vivi(person Vivi) while she had the chance. I'm sorry Ia Swan. Truly. 


	4. Healing these wounds

Chapter 4: Healing the wounds

And the surprising thing is, he just sat there, kissing her.

"Hm. So THIS is what it's like to kiss a princess. Kinda nice. Kiss back, don't make it seem desperate though." Cam thought. They were kissing for what seemed like a lifetime until there was a puff of smoke, followed by a thump and a familiar"FRICK!" Cam knew immediately after it was Ia. He broke apart frantically and ran to the now frizzy haired Ia."Ia Swan! How'd **you** get here?"

"I don't know. I was visiting **you** in the hospital and I slipped and fell down some stairs."She replied

"Are you allright?!"

"Well, I am now." Cam smiled and helped her up."Excuse me while I fix my hair.

"Sure." Ia walked over and climbed up the ladder."Love you!" Cam yelled. Ia kept climbing."Hm. Normally she would say"Love you more" before she left.

"Love you more." Ia yelled as she got to the top.

"I wonder if she saw us. Please don't have seen us!" Cam thought.

"Who was that?" Vivi asked as she walked over and sat on the couch.

"My girlfriend." Cam replied

"Really?"

"Yes." Cam said and sat down on the floor."What's wrong with me?" Cam thought and fell back.

3-0-S-O-M-E-M-I-N-U-T-E-S-L-A-T-E-R

"Crap. I'm going for a walk." Cam said.

"Fine." Vivi replied. Cam got up and climbed up the ladder.

O-N-D-E-C-K

"Crap crap crap." Cam said as he got on deck."Crap crap crap." He said again wacking himself in the head. He turned to go sit on the stern railing and watch the sunset to see Ia was already there. He walked up and hugged her around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Hello." Ia said just like every time Cam hugged her around the waist or otherwise. Cam turned her head towards him and kissed her until they broke apart.

"There's something about you that makes me absolutely melt." Cam whispered

"What is it?" She whispered back.

"I don't know. I'm too busy drowning in your beauty to notice." Ia smiled."I missed you."

"I missed you too." Cam took her hands and they stood watching the sunset...together.

T-H-E-N-E-X-T-M-O-R-N-I-N-G

Cam woke up and climbed down the the crow's nest. The reason being, he gave Ia his couch. The guys didn't even think about trying anything, for if they did, Cam would kill them. Cam walked down to the kitchen to find Ia already awake eating breakfast. Bacon and eggs. Sanji had extra bacon in reserve for when Luffy woke up. Cam sat down next to Ia and started messing with his necklace with a shamed look on his face.

"Morning. You're up early."Ia said

"Morining Ia Swan."Cam replied in a low tone as Sanji gave him his breakfast."Thanks." He said and started eating. Ia just sat there wondering what was wrong with her boyfriend.

"Is anything wrong?" Ia asked. Cam then struck a panic filled expression. He shoveled down his food and left for the deck."What was that about?" Ia thought and got up to follow.

O-N-D-E-C-K

Cam got on deck and just fell front first without regards to the pain. Ia got out and saw Cam lying there. She walked over and poked him in the ribs. Cam jumped and turned to see Ia. He then went back to lying down on his stomach.

"What's wrong?" Ia asked finally.

"I'm sorry." Cam replied

"For what?"

"I did something you wouldn't be proud of."

"What was it?"

"I can't tell you. It's shaming."

"Why not?"

"You'll get mad and possibly break up with me on the spot."

"It's not like you kissed Nami or something."

"Not Nami."

"Sanji?!"

"NO!"

"Chopper?"

"HE'S NOT EVEN OF THE SAME SPECIES!! If I were to kiss someone on this ship other than you, It would be a human female."

"So that leaves Zoro, Usopp, Nami, Luffy and Vivi."

"Female."

"They are." Cam sighed."Zoro?"

"No."

"Usopp?"

"Again, No."

"Nami?"

"Understandable, but No."

"Luffy?"

"No."

"(Gasp) You kissed Vivi?!"Cam said nothing."When?!"

"Right before you showed up yesterday."Ia gave him an astonished look."I'm sorry. She kissed me and, I just sat there. GAH!! I'm an idiot! Idiot, idiot." Ia then walked over and started kissing him. Cam (not knowing why) stopped her."Why? Why Ia Swan? Why do you still kiss what another girl's lips have poisoned?" Ia stepped away.

"Our love is too strong."

"I'm sorry Ia Swan. I've decided right after, that you are the only person allowed to grace my lips from now on. I've given you my heart, and you're the only one for me."

"Same for me." Ia said. Cam hugged her and swept her off her feet."What are you doing?"

"This." Cam said as he walked over to the starboard side and landed with a splash.

"What was that for?"Ia asked with a laugh

"I dunno. Fun?"

"It's cold." Ia said. Cam not saying anything got closer.

"Better?"

"Yes. Now bring me to shore before we drown."

"Aye aye Ia Swan." Cam said letting go."Race ya."

"Okay. GO!" She yelled and the both started swimming to shore.

* * *

There we go. Enjoy Zac. 


	5. Oh ShCrap

There. I updated...finally.

Chapter 5: Oh. Crap.

Now that everything was squared away with Ia, Cam decided to make amends with Vivi. Though nothing was happening between them, Ia was still suspicious.

10:30am, Tuesday, sunny. Cam and Vivi were in the kitchen talking.

"Honestly, I didn't mean it. It was an accident. I just had to prove something to myself." Vivi explained

"Forget it forget it. It's allright. To tell ya the truth I didn't feel anything." Cam replied

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean we could kiss right now and I wouldn't feel anything." There was a pause which was broken by Vivi and Cam kissing eachother. They stopped and both let out a sigh."Anything?"

"No, nothing."

"Me either. Now if you don't mind I'm going back to bed."

"No, no. I don't mind. Have a nice sleep."

"Thanks."

G-I-R-L-S-'-R-O-O-M

Ia was sitting on the couch brushing her hair while Nami was sitting at the bar drinking some sort of alcoholic beverage.

"God I wanna kill Vivi for what she did!"

"Why? What did she do?"

"Come here. I can't stand saying it outloud anymore." Nami set down her drink and walked over."Cam kissed Vivi." she whispered.

"Really!?" Ia nodded."Why do ya wanna kill Vivi instead of Cam?"

"Cam's my boyfriend. Why would I want to kill him?"

"Oh."

O-N-D-E-C-K

Cam was sitting on the stairs staring out to sea and Zoro was sitting at the bow, just sitting. Ia walked up to Cam and sat next to him.

"H..Hey Ia Swan." He said.

"Hello." She replied. Cam had a puzzled look on his face.

"Um, if it's about me and Vivi...

"Vivi and I." Ia interrupted

"Right. If so I'm sorry."

"Right. If you want to be forgiven you will let me do something."

"What is it?" Ia leaned in.

"Let me kill Vivi." she whispered.

"OI!!" Cam yelled as he stood up. He looked over to see Zoro staring at him and sat down."Oi. You cannot kill Vivi."

"Please?"

"NO! If you really want to kill Vivi, I will be forced to protect her."

"Why would I want to kill you?"

"Because you're not going to kill someone just because that someone kissed someone that is already going out with someone. Listen, I love you and part of loving someone is not letting that person commit a murder."

"That is not what love is about."

"I know. I made it up. But, the thing is that if you kill Vivi I will be afraid of you and avoid you which will lead to you killing me anyway. Then you'd be without a loving boyfriend. Sanji can't love you the way I can, neither can Zoro, Luffy, Usopp or Chopper for that matter. Chopper of course can't because, he's sort of a reindeer. Look, I love you and I am teh heh herribly sorry, but I can't let ya kill anyone for the reasons I've just explained."

"Grrr. FINE." Cam hugged her. They then both heard a tapping noise coming from behind them. Cam didn't care but Ia turned to see the "5,5" Zac tapping his foot."Onii Chan!!" she screamed and(sorry I'm using this term) glomped him.

"Oh crap, Zac's here." Cam thought turning around."OH CRAP HE REALLY IS HERE!!!" he thought.

"So, how're the love birds doin'?" he asked getting up.

"Meh. We're doing good." Cam said staring out to sea again.

"OI! At least pretend to make eye contact ya bloody twit!!!"

"Nyeh? Oh sorry I was too busy ignoring you."

"What're you doing here?" Ia asked

"Well, first off, I was watching Inuyasha, then I landed on said unconfortable deck and saw you two talking. I covered my ears and waited politely, your conversation grew rather lengthy and I started tapping my foot to get your attention." Zac replied

"Sweet." Cam said

"I know." Zac replied

"Huh?"

"Are you marvelling at my dizzying intillect?"

"No. There's 157 seagulls on that rock over there." Cam said pointing

"Hum." Cam then climbed up the stairs and fell asleep on the stern."Psst. Can I kick him in the stomach?" Zac whispered to Ia.

"Um no?" she replied. Cam just lied there, without a care.(Rhyming is fun)

* * *

Meh. Review eh? The next one'll be better. 


	6. STOP! Filler time

Chapter 6: Stop! Filler time.

"Mmm. Hm? NYEAH!?" Cam groaned as he woke up. He sat up to see a full moon out and an empty deck."Oi. I should stop falling asleep in random places. Time to go sleep in the crow's nest." Cam said all cheery. He walked down the stairs and climbed up. He was humming a cheery tune while doing so. It sorta sounded like Chameleon by Maynard Ferguson. He got to the top and looked left to see that they were docked."NYEH!? When the devil did we dock?!" He ran his eyes down the gangplank and into a street in the small town. His eyes were caught on a group of nine people. Problem is, he could only see dark figures. What he DID see though, was that one of the figures had 3 swords. He assumed that everybody around him was the rest of the strawhat crew."OI!" Cam yelled enraged and slid down the mast.

F-U-N-K-Y-T-O-W-N

Cam was in his room looking for his things. He grabbed his sword and put it on his left side. He looked at his pistol on the coffee table, but decided not to take it. He ran out on deck and down the gangplank."Nice. They go out for a night on the town and don't wake me up." Cam complained to himself as he stormed down the street with his hands in his pockets. He swayed his head from left to right looking for something to catch his eye. He stopped and gazed upon a japanese style tea house to his right."Hmmm. Ah hell." He said and walked over. He brushed the hanging cloths in the doorway out of his face to see a small room with a gang of pirates terrorizing the work staff. One of which was a girl with beautiful brown hair and an hourglass figure. Cam ran his eyes up and down the back of her body and went to sit down across from them."Nah. She's good, but not like Ia Chan." he thought.

"MORE SAKE!!!" said the bandana clad pirate sitting across from the girl. His arm was wrapped around an orange haired girl sitting next to him.

"Right away." Said the owner in a nervous tone.

"HURRY UP THEN!!"

"Yes sir."

"Oi. These people are so bloody scared of these pirates. They don't look too threatening." Cam thought as he scanned their table."That guy looks like a friggin' ninny." He said about the guy in the all black get up who was an estimated "5'6", but he was sitting down so it was hard to tell.

"Here you are." The employee said and set a platter of cups on their table.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME!" said the bandana clad pirate. Cam let out a sigh of annoyance.

"Hello can I get you something?" Cam looked up to see a beautiful girl about 15 with brown eyes and an hourglass figure like the previous girl.

"Yes, hello. Dango(dumplings) and sake. That's it for me." Cam replied

"Yes sir." She said and turned to walk away but was stopped by Cam grabbing her hand."W..what are you doing?"

"Would you like to join me?" She gave him a stern look."Okay." he said turning his head in disappointment. She walked off.

"Struck out eh?" Cam looked across the aisle."Ouch. Hurts doesn't it?" Asked the bandana clad pirate.

"Err." Cam replied

"I've been there. It hurts."

"Ya. I've been there too."

"Here you are sir." said the employee as she set a platter with a plate with three sticks of dango, two bottles of sake and cups on his table.

"Thank you." Cam said and grabbed the sake bottle.

"Move over." the girl nudged him with her hip.

"Sure." he replied trying to hide his excitement.

"Sake?" she held up the other bottle.

"Err. That was intended for me."

"I know."

"No, I mean ALL of it was intended for me."

"Care to share?"

"Fine." he sighed. The girl giggled and poured some in his cup. Cam drank it and coughed."I'm sorry. I've never had sake before." he coughed.

"Pretty hard stuff huh?"

"Yes. More please." He held out his glass. She poured in more. He guzzled it all down and sighed."Not as bad once you're used to it." The girl giggled again."It's actually pretty good." Cam looked across the aisle at the gang of pirates raisin' hell. He got up and walked over. "Nyyyyyoink." he said quietly as he snuck a cup from the bandana clad pirate. The pirate reached for his cup to find it missing.

"Huh? OI! GIMME BACK MY SAKE!" he yelled and stood up. He pointed at Cam with the most demonic of intentions.

"Huh? It wasn't me." Cam replied as he finished it.

"YOU JUST STOPPED DRINKING IT!! I SAW YOU!"

"Settle down. We can get more." said the brown haired girl Cam was eyein up earlier. He walked over and sat down next to her.

"Hey there. How's it that a beautiful girl like yourself gets involved with a bunch of evil pirates?" Cam asked and put his arm around her shoulder. The previous girl he was with sported a confused look shortly followed by annoyance.

"Umm."

"How about we leave and go elsewhere?"

"Okay?" They got up and Cam repositioned his arm around her waist and they started their walk out.

"Oi." Cam said and turned."You may have my dango. Leave one for the girl." he continued and walked out.

"Grr. Jerk." Said the bandana pirate.

"Hm? He forgot to pay." said the waitress."He's a smooth operator, that guy."

D-I-N-E-A-N-D-D-A-S-H

* * *

Oi oi oi. It was supposed to be longer, but I decided to stop here. Ah well. SEEYA IN ANOTHER HOWEVER LONG IT WAS!!WINK 


	7. Save the drama for yer ninja

Chapter 7: Save the drama for yer ninja

Cam and his date hand in hand walk down the busy street looking for something interesting to do among the many street stalls.

"Hmm. This girl seems kinda familiar to me. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something there." Cam thought as he trotted down the street over to a shrimp vendor without his knowing.

"30 berries." Cam stopped zoning out long enough to hear the shrimp vendor say. Cam looked up to see the mustachioed character holding out his hand. He looked to his date on his right to see her holding 7 sticks of fried shrimp.

"Uhh, where'd you get that?"he asked bewildered

"I got it from him." She said with a mouthful regarding the shrimp vendor beginning to get slightly peeved. "He wants the 30 berries it costed to get these."

"Crap." Cam said and took out his pistol. "You take lead?" he asked pointing it at the vendor's forehead.

"On the house." he sighed as if it's happened many times before.

"Thanks, friend!" Cam replied cheerfully as he tucked the pistol back safely in the back of his pants, and went on their merry way.

B-A-N-G-!

Cam and his still unknown date sat shoulder to shoulder together at a dock as they shared shrimp in the moonlit night. Cam's arm was draped around her shoulder and holding her close.

"My god, who is this girl? She's very soft. Maybe if I..." Cam thought as he relocated his arm around her waist. "And fire." he began poking her side with his fingers.

"Stop it!" She giggled. "You'll make me drop my shrimp!"

"Sorry." Cam replied with a smile. "I don't believe we exchanged names yet, miss."

"You already know my name, silly." And this for Cam was a real shock. Who did he know that was like her? Dark haired, hourglass figure, likes shrimp, strangely let Cam hold her close on the supposed first date?

"Oh crap! It's Ia, but I was too blind to notice. It probably would've been easier to check for the half heart necklace." Cam thought as he let his eyes drift towards her upper chest, and low and behold, it was there. "Just kidding, babe." he said and got up.

"What're you doing?"

"We should probably get back to the ship."

"Okay." she replied as Cam helped her up. They exchanged a kiss and began walking back to the ship hand in hand.

"Love you." he whispered as they walked.

C-A-R-E-L-E-S-S-W-H-I-S-P-E-R

Cam and Ia got back to the ship and went about their business. Cam searched the guys' room for something to hold his pistol with other than his waistband and Ia went to sleep.

"Crap crap crappity." Cam muttered to himself as he searched every inch of the guys' room. He then came across a black, Jack Sparrow style sash. "Huh. Where'd this come from? Ah well, finders keepers." He said and wrapped it around his waist. "Sweet." He then heard a thump come from the deck. "Ia chan? The hell?" Cam walked over and grabbed his sword. He slid it into his new found sash and went up to investigate. He got up to the deck to find nothing. "Oh. I get it. You wanna play hide n seek." he muttered to himself. "I'm coming to get youuu, Ia chaaan." he whispered as he stalked about the ship. He found himself by the girls' room and figured he should check. He peeked his head into the dark room to see Ia sleeping in her hammock. "Interesting hiding spot." He thought. He then leaped toward her with Lupin III style intentions. He then heard another thump coming from the deck and caught himself before he awoke his sleeping beauty. "Hmm." Cam arrived on deck to see yet again, nothing. "God damn! Somebody's screwing with me." he then heard the same sound come from the kitchen. "Sanji?" He wondered and skulked carefully up to the kitchen. He opened the door for a black kunai to fly out and stick into the mast, cutting Cam's cheek on the way. "For god's sake, Sanji. If you're gonna throw a knife, throw a kitchen knife. Kunai don't suit you." Just then a black blur flew out of the kitchen and began bouncing around deck with amazing speed. Cam jumped over the railing and drew his sword. "Who are you?" The blur stopped about 8 feet away from Cam. The blur was now what looked a ninja.

"Is your captain here?" the ninja asked.

"No. What do you want?"

"I heard there was a bounty on your captain's head. I'm here to collect it."

"Well, he's not here."

"Hmm. What a shame. Would you like to have a drink with me until he gets back?"

"Uhhh, sure." Cam said and sheathed his sword and walked over to join his mysterious masked amigo.

"Splendid." The ninja reached inside his gi and pulled out a bottle and two sake cups.

W-H-I-S-K-E-Y-L-U-L-L-A-B-Y

"And this one time, at ninja camp.." The ninja began but was interrupted by the Crew getting back.

"Uhh Cam? Who's that?" Sanji asked.

"This is a ninja, come to kidnap Luffy." He said in a slur.

"What the hell?! Why didn't you do anything?!"

"Sitting right here." the ninja announced with a raised hand.

"He offered me a drink."

"IDIOT!"

"I'll be whatever I wanna do...ya jerk."

"Just stay out of the way!" Sanji yelled as he ran up to the ninja and attempted a kick at his head, but was blocked by Cam. "What're you doing?!"

"Testing."

"Testing what?!"

"Drunken fist." Cam grinned

"Idiot!" Cam threw Sanji's leg back and sent a punch into his gut. Sanji then kicked at Cam's head, but was evaded.

"Look who's all upset!" Cam laughed drunker than an Irishman during St Patrick's day.

"Ass hole!" Sanji yelled

"Go Cam! Kick his ass!" Zoro yelled from the side. Nami then gave him a dirty look, so he piped down. Cam jumped about the deck evading and dodging Sanji's attacks with no elegance but lots of staggering. But the ninja took this time to inconspicuously jump over the rail and make his way to the other side where Luffy was watching the brawl. He hopped onto the gang plank without a sound. He then bopped Luffy over the head with his fist. He fell limp where he was caught and threw over the ninja's shoulder.

"Thanks, what's your name. It was a pleasure drinking with you." He thought. He then executed a bow and turned tail and sped off.

10-M-I-N-U-T-E-S-L-A-T-E-R

Cam, Sanji and the rest of the crew were still on deck. Sanji was out of breath and Cam was still jumping around with the same great speed as his drinking buddy.

"Idiots." Nami sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Hey, where's Luffy?"

"Probably in the kitchen." Zoro said watching the fight wind down. Cam then stopped about 8 feet away from Sanji.

"Speaking of which, where's my ninja buddy?" He asked still rather tipsy.

"He was kidnaped!!" the crew yelled.

"Rawr!" Cam growled. "LUFFY KIDNAPED MY NINJA BUDDY!"

"Other way around." Sanji said out of breath.

"Shut up. You don't know that."

"Cam's right. Let's go look for Luffy." Nami chimed in.

"I never said that."

"Who cares? Let's do it anyway!" Sanji yelled regaining his breath.

N-I-N-J-A-+-L-U-F-F-Y

"Bwah ha ha." the ninja laughed as he ran through the forest. "Now all I have to do is to bring him to the navy and cash 'im in for the bounty. I'm glad I bashed 'im in the head though. If I didn't, I'd probably be floating lifelessly in the bay. Har har har."

G-O-I-N-G-M-E-R-R-Y

Everybody was on deck including now awake Ia.

"Alright!" Nami barked "We'll devise a search party. If anybody finds them, kill the hell out of that ninja and brink Luffy back."

"Yes sir!" everyone barked back

"Alright! Here are your partners! Ia, Cam, and Zac! Vivi, Zoro and Usopp! I will stay here along with Sanji and Chopper."

"Why do you get to stay?" Zoro asked

"Because umm...Sanji's wounded." she replied nervously

"No he's not!" Zoro barked. Cam, taking advantage of the situation, took his pistol from his sash and shot Sanji in the leg. He fell on his side clutching his wound.

"THE HELL, MAN!?" He yelled in pain. Chopper walked over and began dressing the wound.

"Thanks, Cam." Nami said

"Yep. You sure you don't need me to beat 'im up a bit more?" Nami stepped closer.

"Do it when you get back." She whispered.

"Got it."

"Alright then! GO!" She barked and everyone sped off into the night.

* * *

Phew! Man, it's been a while, but now I have me some material to get it started again. Hope you enjoy it. I kept the romance to a minimum for a choice friend of mine. Zac. Here's to you.


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